writing by ~me~: nano 2k16!

hey all.

sooo this has been a crazy month, to say the least, what with trump and all.

i’m not totally sure what else to say about that (actually that’s wrong. i have a shitload to say about the election results, as demonstrated in a few previous posts, which you are free to look at).

there are a lot of questions left unanswered and fears being silenced right now. i just wanna stress the fact that the most important thing we can do is be there for each other. be an ally. comfort those who need it. don’t lose your sense of self in the tsunamis of hate we are all drowning in. respect each other.

for me, it has been extremely hard to focus these past two weeks. but at times, i have a working way to lose myself in something i enjoy (when i’m not desperately brainstorming ways to change the world)…

{and guess what it isn’t drugs lol that sounded hella sus though}

…which brings me toooooo…

NANOWRIMO.

NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. AKA november. AKA MY SOUL MONTH BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?? I HAVE A LEGIT EXCUSE TO CREATIVE WRITE HEHEHEHE

so national novel writing month is basically where you set a “word count goal” (the die hards usually go for about 50,000), think of a novel idea, and write/finish that bitch. in a month. trying to reach your goal.

ok as you can tell i’m pretty shitty at explaining stuff so just google it for a better explanation ok

so i wanted to share an excerpt from mine-it’s only like ten pages long but here’s a sampling. it’s basically trash but leave comments if u wanna. feedback is appreciated, as long as it’s not just a put down. thanks!

How do I explain Eloise?

Chemistry. I like chemistry, the order of things. So if Eloise was an element, she’d be lead. Shining dully, beautiful. Molding herself into anything. A poor conductor of electricity and empathy.

Toxic. The kind of toxic that you don’t notice at first. The kind of toxic that you see every day, touch, be with, the kind of toxic that you want more of, until it consumes you, glimmering silver.

But maybe, after a long, long time, it gets to you. Your perfect grades begin to slip because you’re losing your self motivation, self confidence.  You are tired all the time. You don’t want to do anything anymore.

You don’t understand why, at first. You don’t understand where it’s coming from, why you have lost your sense of self.  Your mother worries, asks you what’s wrong, but you can’t tell her. It gets worse. Poisoning. You know it’s coming from somewhere (the paint on the walls? Your dinner plates?) but you can’t quite put your finger on where.      

And then, one day, Eloise said something unforgivable. It hit me like a tidal wave, and suddenly everything made sense. Her comments, her actions, her ignorance and selfishness was draining me.  She seeped into my water pipes, flaked off the walls of the box I kept putting myself in, got my food, my blood, my everything. My best friend was killing me.

I hated her after that. Hated her for what she said in that moment, hated her for the snide comments and lack of empathy, hated her everything.

But most of all I hated myself for letting it happen.

I think that was why I can’t help freaking out every time I see her.  Because when  I look at her, all I remember is what she turned me into…”

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