stuck to the bottom of fall’s shoe like a nasty ass piece of gum is a Pumpkin Spice Latte. No, not just any pumpkin spice late. all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes ever made.
it all started at target, maybe two years back. it was a freezing day but for some reason i wanted something iced. so being the basic that i was (and tbh still am sometimes) i sauntered into starbucks and and bought myself a “limited edition” “perfect for fall” Pumpkin Spice Latte.
i had seen ads for them everywhere, sparked by the starbucks drink. pumpkin spiced jamba juice smoothie. pumpkin spice cookies (which are actually not bad). pumpkin spice hair dye. pumpkin spice chewing gum. (no, not making that up…)
so i eagerly watched over the counter as the barista artfully poured the orange-ish brown slushie stuff into the plastic to go mug and artfully sprayed the whip cream over that and then artfully sprinkled the cinnamon on top of the whipped cream.
she passed it to me and I paid the ten bucks or whatever the hell it costed, shoved a straw in, and took a gulp.
it tasted to me as though someone blended a cooked squash with some cardboard, and then dumped half a pound of sugar in the mix. oh yeah, and added in a few drops of “essence of wet dog”.
needless to say, it was disgusting.
and it’s not just me. i was with my friend the other day and we were just walking down the street when suddenly she decided she wanted a Pumpkin Spice Latte. as much as i tried to warn her, she dragged me to the starbucks on the corner and bought one.
i watched as she took a sip.
her eyes widened a little bit in horror.
then she speedwalked to the garbage can hole thingy by the straws and stuff and spit it all out. she tossed the rest of the drink in for good measure.
anyways the moral of whatever this is is that pumpkin spice lattes are terrible and please, do not buy them, and please, don’t hate me for this post i’m sorry if i offended your opinions…
now here’s a nice meme i found that i obviously had to use in this post.